Not By Chocolate

I no longer believe in the concept of “reality” as something one can claim to understand. Does that sound vague and a bit goofy? That’s because it most certainly is. But so is life…

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Tunneling

The above cartoon had a very polarizing effect on folks. I got more than the usual high-fives for a good gag and quite a few complaints, some with profanity. And I don’t blame those who were offended at all…

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Icing It

There are a growing number of people who are sensitive to the fact that when a joke in the mainstream public domain features an idiot—the “butt” of the joke— it is almost always a white male…

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Forced Minimalism

Because cats and dogs are the two most popular species of house pets, people often compare them and declare one superior over the other. But I find that discussion to be as erroneous as asking…

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Text Test

There is one thing that is very wrong about the cartoon above and I’m wondering how many of you caught it. Obviously, I’m not talking about the unusual instructions the officer is giving to the applicant. That’s the punchline, so it’s given that it is outside the norm.

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Crawling Fashion

As I drew the above cartoon, I harbored the unconscious assumption that only one of these things actually exists. But as I sit down to begin today’s post, I realize I might well be wrong about that. In fact, I’m certain I am …

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Pidgin Pigeon

When I moved to Mexico almost three years ago, I shared the above parrot’s desire and inability to communicate with the locals in their native language. I quickly developed a kind of pidgin Spanish that usually got me what or where I wanted, but it was usually an idiotic and embarrassing struggle. Once,…

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UFOji

Like many creative types, I’m the sort of person who likes to eschew anything that “the masses” are into, based on the premise that if most people like something, it’s probably fairly low-brow. (Yeah, I know. That’s pretty uppity)…

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Emoji-terrestrial

For the most part, I have made a living commenting on what is commonly called “the human condition.” I wasn’t required to do that––I could have just created amusing cartoons that simply make people smile and left it at that.

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Human Beans

One might think the theme of this cartoon is to be careful what you wish for—the folks in this conference room wanted more comfortable chairs but now they can’t reach the table. But is the answer to get their old chairs back or should they invest further by getting rid of the table, too?…

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Hammer Vision

I picked up some kind of horrid chest cold late last week and spent the weekend wishing I was dead. I’m sure you’ve been there. I didn’t have enough energy to do much more than lie around and not be able to sleep, so I got some reading done between fevered hallucinations.

Something I read yesterday and can recommend wholeheartedly is…

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Straw Man

Some of you more observant readers may notice that I sometimes use backgrounds more than once. The above cartoon is a restaurant scene I’ve used a bunch of times, changing various elements to facilitate the gag. If you’re the sort who enjoys comparing the two images,…

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Nutty Bean

Most of you who read my cartoons and blog posts don’t think of me as a guy who does “adult” humor, but that’s only because I can’t use it in Bizarro; newspaper editors don’t print so-called “dirty jokes”. Sometimes, however…

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When Pigs Fly

My more astute readers may have noticed that I did not post a blog last week. I am loathe to leave all twelve of you dangling without good reason, but I think I have a fairly good one this time: Olive Oyl and I were…

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Ships 'n' Lips

Your comments regarding this hot political topic are welcome, as always. If you’ve failed to detect the satire and sarcasm in the above paragraph and wish to say something foolish, they are especially welcome.

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Topside

I once visited a medical building for something called a colonoscopy, which, if you don’t know, is one of the most fun things you can pay strangers to do to you.

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Plains Sweeping

As a kid, I spent a lot of time dressed up as a cowboy and much of that time I had a broom between my legs as a makeshift horse. Do they still make these things? I had a red one and put thousands of miles on it, into the sunset and otherwise.

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