Criminal Authority
I’m Dan Piraro, the creator of the Bizarro newspaper comic, and this is my weekly blog post. The large Sunday comic above is mine, as are all of the non-cartoon comments below.
Since January 2018, the Monday-Saturday Bizarro comics have been written and drawn by my comics partner, Wayno. For more fun, check out Wayno’s weekly blog post.
And here’s this week’s ANSWER KEY to my Sunday comic’s Secret Symbols.
Howdy, Jazz Pickles. Thanks for your attention.
If your job was writing cartoons on a ceaseless schedule, you’d find yourself forever on the lookout for an image, phrase, or concept that you can twist into a chuckle. Not all jokes are the result of twisting the familiar into something new, but those that are must start with something that is common knowledge.
But sometimes, unbeknownst to you, something you’ve been aware of all your life isn’t common knowledge for your entire readership, and the majority won’t understand that joke. I’d guess all cartoonists stumble into that pothole from time to time, and don’t realize it until people online begin questioning the point of a joke, so this is a pitfall you learn to avoid.
A quick internet search of the topic or phrase can usually tell you if the basis of your gag is widely known, but sometimes you assume it will be and neglect to look it up. I’m only mentioning this because I drew and submitted today’s comic (above) without researching how widely known the “dog ate my homework” trope is. It wasn’t until I sat down to write this post that I wondered if that may have been a mistake, so I looked it up.
"My dog ate my homework" is an iconic, widely recognized idiom in English-speaking cultures, peaking in popularity during the 1970s–1980s as a stereotypical, flimsy excuse for missing assignments.”
The Almighty Internet (AI) says it’s common enough to pass the test, so I’m good. Phew!
And, while the title of this post clearly pertains to the cartoon canine above, I won’t deny that it immediately reminded me of a real-world criminal authority figure who will remain unmentioned today.
Let’s pivot to Wayno’s Bizarro comics for the week and see what common idioms he may have played on…
I have a casual friendship with Teller* of Penn and Teller, which began when he commented on a cartoon I did about them decades ago. This week, he texted me about this cartoon…
“Jesus, this is so true. We just attended a Neil DeGrasse Tyson lecture. Were you guys there, too?”
We were not, but it’s a perfect example of a cartoon built on common knowledge. Anyone who’s been to one of these events has endured this.
*Please excuse my shameless name-dropping.
A Hollywood pet peeve of mine is how getaway cars are always shown careening through traffic at top speed, when driving slowly and carefully would be a much better way of avoiding the attention of the police. In that regard, self-driving cars would be perfect for bank robberies.
Waiter, there’s an amphibian’s tongue in my soup.
Of course, Waldo’s entire career is built on being impossible to find despite his blatant conspicuousness.
Don’t forget to leave any attachment you may have to the truth at home.
Constructing and consuming s’mores is so much more gratifying.
That concludes our tenuous connection to comedy for today, Jazz Pickles. If you’re enjoying that we do this for free, while not threatening democracy, the stability of your national economy, alienating our allies, or trying to sell you worthless, overpriced crap with our names emblazoned on it, please consider helping us keep it this way via the links below. Whether you do or not, rest assured that we will never whine about not having won any Nobel prizes for things we have not done.
The Naked Cartoonist…My every-other-week creative-writing subscription service.
Bizarro TIP JAR …One-time or repeating. Your choice!
WAYNO’S TIP JAR …One-time or repeating. Your choice!
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Watch my pitch video and become a supporter of Peyote Cowboy here.
Super fun Bizarro swag from ComicsKingdom, including our 2026 Bizarro wall calendar.