Forbid Not the Children to Come Unto Me, for I Can Use Them as Bait
WWJD* to catch the “WORST OF THE WORST”?
*What Would Jesus Do?
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“Brown Baby Jesus” photo by the author, all rights reserved
Multitudes of loaf- and fish-eating disciples around the globe have wondered why American evangelicals have chosen to follow the MAGA Messiah™, that voice wandering the moral wilderness by golf cart, wearing a red hat. Perhaps his famous Sermon on the 18th Green will enlighten the wicked.
The Gospel of Mar-a-Lago, Chapter 1, verses 1–18
1 For He stood by the pin after kicking the ball into the hole whilst none gazed upon Him, and many gathered, and He opened His mouth unto them and spake:
2 Blessed are the white, for they shall inherit the kingdom of Greenland. And possibly Canada.
3 Blessed are the masked, for they are heavily armed and quick to trigger, and suffer not restraint nor consequence.
4 Blessed are the bigoted and uneducated, for they recognize not the ways of fascism, and will tell us where their neighbors are hiding.
5 Blessed are they who utter not a word against the high prices of goods, services, and health care, nor the trampling of civil rights.
6 Blessed are the women who visit not the polls, lest they vote with justice and compassion that displeases the Lord, and could cast His minions to the wind.
7 Blessed are they who persecute for partisanship’s sake, and label their victims as perpetrators.
8 Blessed are those who lie freely, as doth the Lord, and knoweth that an untruth shall only be punished if the MAGA faithful fall not for it.
9 Blessed are they who turn away from the Epstein Hoax, accepting that boys will be boys, and girls are not to be believed nor valued.
10 Blessed are the redactors.
11 Cursed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called domestic terrorists. And verily, I say unto thee, he who lives by the phone shall die by the bullet, for vengeance is mine sayeth the Lord.
12 Foolish are the merciful, for they shall be called Communists and Socialists, and Haters of America, and shall not be admitted to my private clubs.
13 For ye of the red headwear are the salt of the earth: white, granular, and stinging to wounds. It is the pepper, the Dark Spices, that shall be cast out, to be trodden under the feet of men (as women watch through the kitchen window, where they belongeth).
14 Verily I say unto thee, thou shalt by no means come out as Trans, and compete against women, for thou art faster, even in heels.
15 Cursed be the midterms and the power they giveth to the wicked, and the Lord shall forever cast such elections into the Lake of Fire for displeasing Him.
16 Woe to those who trust not the embrace of Russia, and curse not NATO for daring to utter against the whims and bloviations of the Lord Thy Daddy, and ignore not the Constitution and thus deny the Lord to maintain the throne for a third, fourth, and fifth term for eternity.
17 For Daddy is home, and thus shall the feast be prepared with burgers, and fries, and ice cream, and Diet Pepsi, and many bottles of ketchup, that He may heave them against the gold, tchotchke-bedecked walls of the Lord’s house in His displeasure with the infidels, heathens, and worshippers of the Constitution.
18 For MINE is the kingdom, the power, and the glory forever. PRAISE BE FOR YOUR ATTENTION TO THIS MATTER.
There you have it, plain and simple. Any questions?
People talk about TDS, ”Trump Derangement Syndrome,” and it’s real. But it isn’t people like me who suffer from it, it’s those who think such a dishonest, heartless grifter is a messiah, and not the Antichrist.
It’s enough to make a person wonder, what would Jesus do?
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