If ICE Absorbed the Salvation Army
I’m Dan Piraro, the creator of the Bizarro newspaper comic, and this is my weekly blog post. The large Sunday comic above is mine, as are all of the non-cartoon comments below.
Since January 2018, the Monday-Saturday Bizarro comics have been written and drawn by my comics partner, Wayno. For more fun, check out Wayno’s weekly blog post.
And here’s this week’s ANSWER KEY to my Sunday comic’s Secret Symbols.
Bienvenido, Jazz Pickles. Have a seat and moisturize your lips in case you feel a smile coming on.
Believe it or not, the title of this week’s post, “If Ice Absorbed the Salvation Army,” was an afterthought.
I arrived at the idea for this comic by combining the Salvation Army with the military expression “special forces,” then concocting a ludicrous scenario to illustrate it.
As soon as I dropped the image into this week’s blog post and began searching for a title, however, it occurred to me that if the current demented resident of the Casa Blanca were to mistake the Salvation Army for a functional arm of the military (which would be not at all out of character for him) and put it under the supervision of ICE, the scene above would not stand out at all among the already enormous and growing list of pointless constitutional violations.
That CLICK! you may have heard just now was likely the sound of a few more people unsubscribing from my mailing list because I disrespected Dear Leader.
Seriously, folks, if you’re still supporting this grifting, criminal administration, ask yourself which of the only three following reasons you could possibly have at this point applies to you:
You are a bigot and want any and all non-whites persecuted.
You believe fascism is preferable to democracy.
You only expose yourself to right-wing propaganda and have no idea how much you are being lied to.
“CLICK!” There go a few more unsubscribes. Oh well.
I persist with these political mini-rants because it is up to us, the common citizens, to end this. The spineless Republican majority in Congress is not going to lift a finger to stop it, so it’s up to us. We all have a duty to speak out, protest, and boycott. Whatever you can, and whatever it takes.
THANK YOU FOR YOUR CONTENTION TO HIS BLATHER.
But we don’t have to let it ruin every waking moment of our days (a challenge, I know), so let’s have a few chuckles with Wayno’s Bizarro cartoons from the week.
I have to admit, this comic drags my mind right into the gutter.
Franky might have chosen “death metal,” and the cat could’ve said, “Pussy Riot.” (That’s an actual feminist protest punk rock band in Russia. Doing that in Russia is SO punk rock.)
I’m digging the beatnik bunny, but wonder if beatniks would be into hip-hop. Personally, I prefer salsa, especially with chips.
I usually let promotional opportunities slide by unused, but today I’m feeling adventurous, so I’ll tell you that the shirt the guy in the first panel above is wearing could be yours. (Sadly, the outfit Tarzan is wearing is not available in the Bizarro shop.)
This is off topic, but if you’ve not heard comedian Emo Phillips do his routine voted "Best Religion Joke Ever,” enjoy it now.
Sorry kids! To get this final comic, you have to be old enough to remember what three-dimensional magazines were.
If you’re still here, thanks for reading. We hope you needed that lip balm once or twice. If you like that we’re doing this for free each week, please help us keep it that way in this era of collapsing newspapers (and comics income) via the links below. We’ll use up a whole stick of lip balm smiling in gratitude.
The Naked Cartoonist…My every-other-week creative-writing subscription service.
Bizarro TIP JAR …One-time or repeating. Your choice!
WAYNO’S TIP JAR …One-time or repeating. Your choice!
My (free) graphic novel in progress, PEYOTE COWBOY
Watch my pitch video and become a supporter of Peyote Cowboy here.
Super fun Bizarro swag from ComicsKingdom, including our 2026 Bizarro wall calendar.