How many times your own weight can you lift and carry? If it’s less than 5,000 times your own weight, you’re a pathetic weakling compared to ants.

Some of you regular readers may recognize this cartoon from years past. I decided to publish it again because my readership is larger and more widespread now than it was then and I think this cartoon deserves a wider audience.

Today’s cartoon is a fictional depiction of what might have happened if King Kong had more successfully managed his show business career, gotten rich, and had a son (somehow, with a female giant gorilla, I guess?)

Why are there flightless birds? Are there swim-less fish? Walk-less mammals? Run-less cheetahs?

Well, yes. There are creatures…

My Sunday cartoon this week (above) left a few people scratching their heads, wondering what it means. Many, no doubt, moved on to scratching other things as well, but that’s not our concern. Primates scratch things.

A small puñado of my favorite Bizarro cartoons and some comments about them.

Here’s another of my long, spiritual musings that has nothing to do with my cartoon for the week, above. Or does it?!

In this first post, I’m discussing how I execute the art on Peyote Cowboy and how I create a sense of depth in my landscapes.

’m feeling a little down on myself at the moment because I missed an opportunity to make the above cartoon notably funnier. If you want to guess what that is, I’ll give you a hint…

Another reason this depth of sharing makes me queasy is that I can’t help but imagine people rolling their eyes and thinking I’ve drunk some evangelical Kool-aid and become another deluded nitwit for having abandoned my strictly science-based atheism for some fairytale drivel. For the record, I have thought that of people before, so I get it.

It’s another Sunday morning here at Rancho Bizarro in Central Mexico as I sit down to belch out another blog post about god-only-knows what. I don’t plan these posts ahead of time, I just sit down each week, allow my fingers to prance across my keyboard like happy woodland creatures in mating season, and see what turns up.

As my regular readers know, I call my beloved wife “Olive Oyl,” which was the name of Popeye’s girlfriend. I do this for two reasons:

Though I grew up mostly in Oklahoma, I did not have personal contact with cowboys or horses (which no doubt added to my propensity to glorify them) and so my fascination with them faded as I got older and I became obsessed with girls and rockstars instead.

Do you know the difference between pain and suffering? Your dharmatologist can help.

I’ve lately come to realize that we each truly create our own reality and that no two are identical. This is a profoundly deep topic that touches on everything from quantum physics to the nature of consciousness to spiritualism, but it’s basically the concept hinted at by the old adage about …

As this cartoon plainly points out, some predictions are easier to make than others.

While most cartoonists save their snowman jokes for when it is winter where they live, I decided to be a little less Northern Hemisphere-centric and publish one in June. Also, as I write this, quite a few places in North America are experiencing a record heat wave (no doubt as a result of the elaborate Liberal hoax of “global warming!”) so I figured…

…Soon thereafter, the salesman snuck off and stranded the wife in Vegas, where the only job she could find was as an auto valet at the same refrigerator magnet trade show that she used to attend as a celebrity…

Happy moment to you, Jazz Pickles. Some of you are reading this now while others have read it previously and some will read it later. Most will never read it at all or even know it exists. In fact, my entire life and all of the work I’ve done since the middle of the last century or will do before I die will be gone forever in an astronomical blink of an eye.

You’ve had this human brain all your life and you’re used to taking for granted how incredible it is, but let’s stop for a moment and think about it.

Physiologically, we’re the same as squirrels: skeleton, muscles, organs, skin, fur, eat, sleep, poop, reproduce, die. It’s easy to think, Yeah, we’re mammals, we just happen to be really smart… Wait, what?