Sleepy Apocalypse

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THE QUESTION: My Sunday cartoon this week (above) left a few people scratching their heads, wondering what it means. Many, no doubt, moved on to scratching other things as well, but that’s not our concern. Primates scratch things. 

By some law of math, averages, or demography, it is said that if a few people express the same question or complaint about a cartoon it means that a certain percentage of all the people who saw it had the same thought but didn’t bother to write. Maybe they just had better ways to burn calories than to type a question to me. Who can blame them? No matter, here’s my clarification for the thousands (or dozens) of people who didn’t get it.

THE ANSWER: Let’s begin with what it’s not about. It’s not about zombies, as many readers assumed. This is what the default mode network (DMN) in your brain does—it glances at stuff and tells you what it probably is so you can move on to more important things. If you walk through your living room on your way to the kitchen, your DMN tells you those shapes in your periphery are your furniture, exactly as it was last time you saw it. There’s no real need to check each time to make sure your sofa hasn’t been replaced by a crocodile. This is a terrific tool for a big brain like ours because otherwise, we’d spend all our time inspecting every little thing that crossed our path and completely miss the peckish bear sitting in the middle of the path ahead, waiting to make a snack of us.

And so, modern culture being what it is, our DMN tells us that anyone shuffling in a stupor like those in the comic above must be a zombie.

But in this case, no. You see, Roger spent years stealing covers from his wife and now that he’s “upped his game,” he is stealing covers from his neighbors, as well, and they are shuffling sleepily to his house to retrieve them. 

I know it’s weird and a bit of a stretch but that’s why we call this Bizarro and not “Normalo.” Also, Bizarro rhymes with my last name and “Normalo” does not rhyme with anything to do with me. 

A NOTE TO STUDENTS OF ENGLISH: If you’ve never heard the expression “up your game,” it just means to increase your efforts or achieve more. 

FUN WITH YOUR DMN: Once you learn that nothing that you perceive is “reality” but actually an impression invented by a complex combination of your brain’s best guess, your past experiences, your cultural beliefs, your health and emotions at that moment, your expectations, and numerous other factors we don’t even know about yet that all meld together to become your experience, your personality, your “reality,” you can start to have some fun with your DMN. Once you start to be aware of the fact that your brain is convincing you of things that aren’t so, you can consciously look for instances and catch it red-handed. (All true, as this NYTimes article explains. I hope this link works for non-subscribers.)

For instance, last week I walked into the kitchen and saw one of our two cats, the grey tabby, sitting on the cabinet by the toaster oven. As is my custom, I said, “Hola, Lola,” then I turned and got something out of the fridge. As I turned back to leave, I looked out the window and saw the same cat outside where she could not be that quickly given that the door was closed. I looked again at the counter where I’d just seen her and there was a navy blue jacket wadded up on the counter. What was fun about this to me was that I could vividly recall seeing my cat. It was only a glance, but it wasn’t something blurry in my periphery—I know I looked at my cat for a split second. I can remember her green eyes and the look on her face. But I was wrong. My brain assumed that a dark lump of that shape was our cat, Lola, so it invented a picture of her, showed it to me, and tricked me into saying hello to a jacket. When you train yourself to look for these things, you’ll see similar deceptions everywhere. I get a big kick out of it.

THIS ALSO HAPPENS: When this whole concept really sinks in, you realize you really shouldn’t be too damned sure about the things you are so damned sure of. And that’s a good place to be, I think.

Another good place to be is here, now, checking out Wayno’s Bizarro cartoons for the week. IMHO, he had some real classics this week…

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If you enjoyed the play, I don’t recommend the TV series. In the 7th season, they totally jump the shark by having Godot show up.

FOR STUDENTS OF ENGLISH: “Jump the shark” means to “go too far” and refers to an American TV sitcom in the 70s called Happy Days in which in the final season a character literally jumps over a shark tank on water skis. It was a horrifically bad choice but it gave us a useful expression.

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I know a witch with an endorsement deal who carries a Swiffer®.

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This one is an instant classic in my book and I have a Love/Hate/Love relationship with hit. I love this gag so much that I hate that I didn’t think of it myself but I love that my partner did, at least. If it had appeared in someone else’s cartoon, I’d have had to commit cartoon hari-kari. (Ruining your shirt with a fountain pen.)

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Everyone’s got one or more of these guys in the family. It’s a wonder Hell isn’t running out of hand baskets.

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This gag, too, is an instant classic for me. Such love/hate/love! In Wayno’s blog post this week, he divulges which two Impressionist painters these guys were based on. See if you can guess.

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I find this joke literally funny.

This ends our cartoon sack race for this week, Jazz Pickles. Thanks for staying in your burlap bag till the finish line and sorry about those grass stains on your face. If you’ve enjoyed this backyard carnival and appreciate our lack of ads or click bait, please consider helping us keep it that way by tossing a soiled coin or two in our direction via the links below. In gratitude, we’ll light a candle in your name at the church of drawn humor.

Until next time, please keep your hands and feet inside the car at all times.

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