Not By Chocolate

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As perhaps the dozen-or-so of you regular, longtime readers of my blog know, I used to pontificate here at great length about diet and whether humans were naturally designed to be herbivores, omnivores, or carnivores. I don’t do that anymore, having come to a place in my understanding of reality that there is no one reality, no way to understand it, and that a person can never really convince anyone of anything that they are not already predisposed to believe. In short, I no longer believe in the concept of “reality” as something one can claim to understand. Does that sound vague and a bit goofy? That’s because it most certainly is. But so is life.

Whether or not we humans are designed to eat as much meat as we do, one thing that is certain is that humans used to hunt mastodons and mammoths with pointed sticks. It isn’t difficult to imagine how difficult and dangerous that would be because we have a direct relative of them still alive today. Imagine approaching a herd of elephants with a pointy stick and nothing more than a dish towel wrapped around your waist to protect your genitals. It isn’t hard to imagine that a lot of humans were dragged back to camp with Xs where their eyes used to be and a soiled dish towel.

These days, death-by-food requires far less effort in modern countries, thanks to the many fast food drive-thrus. And we don’t even need the pointy stick until we’re finished eating. (toothpick)

At this point, perhaps one wonders what types of comestibles appeared in Wayno’s cartoons this week. Let’s find out…

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And just wait until you find out what they call a “bath”.

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I suspect that this legend has gotten garbled over time. Rather than Arthur pulling a sword from a stone, I’m guessing he had to take a sword away from a guy who was stoned. That’s not really all that hard.

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I always thought that sound Charlie Brown’s teacher made was created using a trumpet with a mute, but apparently, it was a trombone. Wayno has some very interesting things to say about it on his blog post this week, including that he could not find out who played that trombone. Then, just this morning, he and I got an email from a guy who was friends with the musician who played that part on the animated Peanuts TV shows. According to him, the musician’s name was Dean Hubbard and it he was a very cool dude who played with a LOT of top-tier musicians in his day including this partial list: Dizzy Gillespie, Nelson Riddle, Dave Brubeck, Ella Fitzgerald, and Tony Bennett to Aaron Neville, Linda Ronstadt, XTC, and Joe Strummer. DAMN, Dean! We love getting notes like these about our cartoons.

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As many big-brained homosapiens have noted, it is only a matter of time before humans begin incorporating computer elements into themselves; and not that much time, either. Soon, you’ll be able to scroll through the Internet inside your head or some such soul-crushing crap. I intentionally say “you’ll” because I have no intention of being among you. I’ve seen enough episodes of “Black Mirror” to know that the future cannot get here slowly enough.

Of course, I also swore I’d never carry a phone with me because I had no wish to be that accessible to any random person who cares to bother me, but here I am on perhaps my fourth or fifth smartphone and I feel naked without it, even at times when I should be naked. Like in the shower. (sigh, eyeroll, momentary suicide contemplation, resignation)

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This gag is my personal favorite of the week. I love words and their origins and alternative meanings and when someone can lead me to a new connotation of a word, I get a big kick out of it. I’ve never thought of reflective tape in this way before and it made me guffaw. (“Guffaw” is a very fun word even though its etymology is boring.)

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When Wayno first submitted a sketch of this cartoon, I had a strong feeling it was a self-portrait of sorts. He confirms this on his post this week, tells the story behind it and also posts a photo of the hat in question. Check it out, then come right back! (URL above, below the Charlie Brown cartoon.)

If you’re a person who enjoys headwear (or torso-wear, for that matter) treat yourself to a gander at our Bizarro Shop with various types of cool stuff for geniuses with good taste. Here’s a pic of a nerdy geezer in a hat we sell…

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Some different styles/colors available and they also come in Eyeball and Pie! Great Caesar’s Ghost!

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That bell you just heard (pretend you heard a bell) signals the end of today’s class. Thanks for sitting through the entire lecture. Your homework this week will be to check out some of the links below and discover ways to support our mission to continue to bring this nonsense to you free of charge and without ads! You’re the best Jazz Pickles any cartoonist could hope for!

Until next week, be smart, be happy, be nice, and resist ignorance, fascism, racism, and nationalism. (I know. The list is getting longer.)

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Dan Piraro12 Comments