Text Test

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There is one thing that is very wrong about the cartoon above and I’m wondering how many of you caught it. Obviously, I’m not talking about the unusual instructions the officer is giving to the applicant. That’s the punchline, so it’s given that it is outside the norm.

I’ll get to what’s wrong here in a moment, but first, the impetus for this joke is that I think it is foolish to assume that no one will text and drive simply because it is dangerous, irresponsible, illegal, and could result in your spending the next decade-or-more in prison for involuntary manslaughter. So instead, perhaps it would make more sense to test people on their ability to do so, then flunk them if they can’t. They could even randomly toss dummies out in front of the car to represent pedestrians that will later be mowed down while you’re texting—sort of like those FBI training ranges where cardboard silhouettes of people pop up and you have to decide whether or not to shoot them. (Grandma holding a puppy, or terrorist holding a Glock?)

Whether you agree with that or not, have you spotted what’s wrong with the cartoon, yet? Yes, the age of the hopeful driver’s license applicant is far too young. These days, teens don’t want a driver’s license because they don’t live “out there,” they live inside their phones. As such, they are more than happy to stay at home well into their twenties or thirties, waiting, one supposes, for someone to throw them out or die and leave the domicile to them in their will. (Whatever automobiles the family has would then be sold and the proceeds used to buy more video games and apps.) When I was young, most kids took their driver’s test on their 16th birthday or shortly thereafter. But that was when people lived in the three-dimensional world where getting away from your parent’s house was important. Times change.

Now it is time to see what cartoons Wayno was drawing while erratically swerving from lane to lane…

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This cartoon reminds me of the time I spent weeks designing the perfect tattoo, spent hundreds of dollars and quite a few hours of not-negligible pain having it applied, then, no sooner had I walked out of the shop, a zombie came up and bit most of it off. I was so mad.

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I’ve always heard that women love men with a sense of humor so you’d think that outfit he’s wearing would be a real chick magnet.

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Over on Wayno’s weekly blog post about this batch of cartoons, he recounts a story about the Paul Stanley and what he did with this cartoon. And, as usual, Wayno includes a couple of links to interesting music tidbits. Check it out now and get ready to rock ‘n’ roll for 8 or 9 minutes!

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I hope his attorney remembers to tell Bride of Frankenstein which penitentiary to go to for conjugal visits.

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This is my favorite gag this week and my favorite album of MacJohnson’s is the one he did with Scotty Cash.

BTW: One of the links on Wayno’s blog post this week is a fun clip of a pretty talented person playing Big Band jazz on a bagpipe. I dug it more than I thought I would.

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When considering whether or not to unleash a plague on the public, it's important to know how much more money you might make from it, even though you’ve already got more than anyone needs in five lifetimes. I’m hoping this term catches on and Wayno gets credit for it.

That’s the end of our cartoon dog walk this week, Jazz Pickles. I hope everyone had a chance to sniff every bush and leave some messages of your own. If you enjoy what we do and that we do it without ads, please consider the links below.

In fact, until MIDNIGHT TONIGHT (Sun. July 7) there’s a sale in my Bizarro shop! Get 25% off your ENTIRE Bizarro Shop order when you use code JULY4 at checkout. Go there now!!

Until next week, be happy, be smart, be nice, and resist ignorance and fascism.

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Dan Piraro13 Comments