Garage Duo

Bizarro 03-24-19 hdrWB.jpg
Bizarro 03-24-19 WEB.jpg

Bizarro is brought to you today by Sitting On A Baby.

For you car buffs: Yes, that’s a ‘63 Corvair done up to look like the Batmobile and because the 13-year-old in me is not yet completely dead, I had a really fun time drawing it.

Don’t miss the fun details in this cartoon, like the labels on the storage boxes and those two accordion-folding, paper Halloween decorations hanging from the ceiling, which we had at my house when I was a kid. Anybody else remember those? I couldn’t find them on Google so I assume they don’t sell them anymore. The whole world just keeps going to hell.

If you’re wondering what Wayno found under his cartoon garage this week, follow me down…

Bz C 190318 P.jpg

On Instagram I commented that this cartoon was originally going to be a Swiss Army Condom but that our newspaper clients would not allow it. That’s partly true in that most if not all of our newspaper clients would not have allowed it. But we didn’t actually even consider it or discuss it—I just said that to elicit a chuckle (even if only from myself). I actually can’t even imagine how I’d draw that and doing so is causing my lunch not to sit too well.

Bz C 190319 P.jpg

It tickles me, however, to imagine this little guy waddling down the street in that suit with a bowler, a monocle, and a briefcase. Where are you going in such a hurry, little banker? On your way to throw a widow and some orphans into the street for missing their rent payments and splashing them with mud as you drive away in the back of your chauffeur-driven limousine with a full bar in the back?

It’s not so cute now, is it?

Bz C 190320 P.jpg

Say what you will about cats, they are most predictable when sleeping. So if you’ve got one with an insomnia problem, there’s no telling what it could lead to: furniture scratching, objects to the floor knocking, outside the litter box pooping, middle of the night pouncing and flesh puncturing.

Remember: a sleeping cat is a safe(r) cat.

Bz C 190321 P.jpg

Personally, I find the term “crash test dummy” to be offensive and insensitive. The preferred nomenclature is “brain-activity-challenged vehicle operator”. (Which includes pretty much all of us.)

I posted the above statement on my Instagram post of this cartoon and a reader left this amusing coment in response: I'm offended by your coming up with a non-offensive name for an inanimate object! It makes light of the practice of coming up with non-offensive names for people that are marginalized!

I love this comment both because it made me chuckle and because you really can’t tell if this person is kidding, which is always sort of fun.

Bz C 190322 P.jpg

Okay, so if you’re too young to remember X-Ray Spex, go google it now. They were a ubiquitous feature of kids’ comic books and the like for years and the adverts made kids believe they could see through things with these special glasses. Things like women’s clothing.

No, they didn’t work.

Bz C 190323 P.jpg

This cartoon published on the same day that Mueller’s report was released. Wayno categorically denies having advanced notice about the release but certainly that won’t stop the Conspiracy Nut Network from creating an exciting narrative about it. I’m hoping it includes a cameo appearance by the Melania Trump body double and a visit to the D. C. pizza parlour basement where Democrats are creating an army of Pelosi clones to overthrow the country and imprison Christians who won’t kneel down to Sharia Law. Sound about right?

Check out Wayno’s implausible denials and other hilariousness on his weekly blog.

That’s this week’s comedy cloud, Jazz Pickles. Thanks for inhaling it. If you enjoy what we do and would like us to know that, please consider patronizing one of the things behind the links below. Every little bit helps us keep the campfire stoked at Rancho Bizarro.

Until next week, be happy, be smart, be nice, and resist ignorance and fascism.

BIZARRO SHOP (enamel pins, Hello Shitty, shirts and more!)  

… Bizarro TIP JAR

DIEGO PIRARO FINE ART…where you can buy my paintings or prints of them from me personally!

Signed, numbered, limited edition prints and original Bizarro panels  

Bizarro Cartoons on Instagram  

Piraro Fine Art on Instagram

Dan Piraro19 Comments