Dog Logic
I’m Dan Piraro, the creator of the Bizarro newspaper comic, and this is my weekly blog post. The large Sunday comic above is mine, as are all of the comments below.
Since January 2018, the Monday-Saturday Bizarro comics have been written and drawn by my comics partner, Wayno. They follow this commentary. For more fun, check out Wayno’s weekly blog post.
And here’s this week’s ANSWER KEY to my Sunday comic’s Secret Symbols.
So glad you could join me today, Jazz Pickles.
Last week’s blog post was about self-driving cars, so to present the opposite viewpoint, today’s comic is about dog-driving cars. We here at Bizarro International Headquarters are nothing if not fair and balanced.
A couple of notes about last week’s post:
Some folks thought my assertion that self-driving cars would be safer than human-driven ones means that I support Artificial Untelligence (not a typo) in all ways. I DO NOT. I’m impressed by its speed and capabilities when answering questions (as long as you remember it is not infallible), but there is no question that the industry needs to slow down and install far more powerful security measures than it currently has. We should also tax the uber wealthy at much higher rates, remove Big Money from elections, and get rid of the Electoral College. I hold these truths to be self-evident.
In the background of last week’s Sunday comic, I put a small sign in a window that read: 8647. A few folks chastized me for calling for the assassination of the president. I informed them that “86” is restaurant slang for canceling an order or removing an unruly customer, and has never commonly meant to murder someone. The James Comey indictment for his seashells photo was yet another daily attempt by a certain textbook fascist clown-car of an administration to distract the public from the abysmal job it is doing in every metric, as it robs us blind.
I am, of course, completely in favor of removing 47 from any position of authority or power, and hope he will end up in jail as the overwhelming majority of less-wealthy felons do. He and Hegseth are also war criminals, but unfortunately, war criminals often escape prosecution.
Enough painful, self-evident truths. Let’s relax and have a giggle at a dog who has confronted a traffic cop with infallible dog logic. I suspect he got off with a warning.
And don’t miss the background jokes in today’s driving-dog comic. The name of the attorneys read backwards may ring a bell, and the dog’s vanity license plate was his second choice because some f**king poodle already had “WOOF.”
It’s past time to find out what chuckelments my partner Wayno has infused the week’s Bizarro comics with...
The judge had to dismiss the case because neither of the clams would testify.
In Wayno’s post about this same group of comics, he advises you symbol-counters that the word “pie” does not count as a Secret Symbol, but the silhouette of the missing crown patch does.
For you readers who are not familiar with Eliot Ness, the internet will be happy to tell you. If you’re not familiar with those brands of scotch, the internet won’t be of much help.
Magritte continues to be our favorite surrealist subject of comics. BTW: That’s not a pipe sticking up out of the water, but it is an eyeball.
He’s taken that test three times and got a perfect score each time. No other king has ever even taken that test, and would not have passed it if they had. He must be “a very stable genius.”
All we’ll say about this is think about it.
That concludes this week’s comedy swamp. Thanks for helping us drain it with your chuckles. If you enjoy what we do and that we offer this for free, please consider helping us keep it up via the links below. Thanks a llama, Jazz Pickles. You are appreciated.
The Naked Cartoonist…My every-other-week creative-writing subscription service.
Limited edition, signed & numbered prints of BIZARRO CARTOONS, and some ORIGINALS!
Bizarro TIP JAR …One-time or repeating. Your choice!
WAYNO’S TIP JAR …One-time or repeating. Your choice!
My (free) graphic novel in progress, PEYOTE COWBOY.
Watch my PITCH VIDEO and become a supporter of Peyote Cowboy here.
Super fun BIZARRO SWAG from ComicsKingdom, including women’s V-neck styles! (And some weird shit from other comics that doesn’t even belong in our shop. Sorry about that.)