Your Mileage May Very
Well Multiply Like Rabbits
I’m Dan Piraro, the creator of the Bizarro newspaper comic, and this is my weekly blog post. The large Sunday comic above is mine, as are all of the comments to follow.
Since January 2018, the Monday-Saturday Bizarro comics have been written and drawn by my comics partner, Wayno. For more fun, check out Wayno’s weekly blog post.
And here’s this week’s ANSWER KEY to my Sunday comic’s Secret Symbols.
Hey there, Jazz Pickles. I hope you’re all hanging in there and riding out the Tangerine Torment comfortably. Olive Oyl and I are taking a little time off this week and next to visit family.
We spent yesterday morning in shuttle vans and airports, and the afternoon in what felt like a cramped utility closet where they store metal folding chairs. O2 tried to persuade me that it was a commercial airliner, and the gigantic man in the folding chair next to me, who kept his right elbow and knee pressed firmly against me for three hours while snoring loudly enough to nearly drown out the wind storm outside, almost convinced me.
As I looked behind me, there were dozens of rows of tiny, uncomfortable chairs smooshed together, full of sleeping people in various embarrassing poses, with gaping mouths and slack jaws.
That sounds like a plane, but it still didn’t make sense. People have to pay big money to ride on commercial airliners, and there’s no way my wife and I were stupid enough to have paid for that experience. All I can think is that somehow, we accidentally locked ourselves into a vibrating storage facility with hundreds of others who’d snuck in there to sleep off their Friday night drunk.
Whatever the case, we’re out of the closet now and sitting in properly cushioned chairs, so it’s all good.
Before I go, I’d be as stupid as a person who pays hard-earned money for a flight on a cheap-ass airline if I didn’t mention our splendid new products in the Comics Kingdom Bizarro shop. Run over there right now as fast as a Mario Brother escaping some sort of animated danger and nab some for yourself and your loved ones. You’ll permanently be one of our loved ones if you do.
Lastly, but not leastly, next Friday’s article in my subscription creative writing thing, The Naked Cartoonist, is titled “Do You Think a Lot of Modern Art is Bullshit?”
Here’s one of the several comics within my clever and amusing essay.
This story is snarky and funny, but also open-minded, so you can decide for yourself if modern art is for you. I think you’re going to love it. (My article, that is; I’ve no idea if you’ll love modern art.)
That makes it time to peek under the comedy curtain and see what mischief Wayno’s Bizarro comics for the week include…
Sheet happens.
I love a park bench with a pie shelf. It keeps the pie where the pigeons and squirrels can enjoy it without having to bend over.
When you’re tired of watching lame sit-coms try an intentionally lame sit-chuck.
Good idea. Since none of the commandments mention a prohibition against molesting women, how about Bill Cosby, Harvey Weinstein, and His Obfuscating Orangeness?
A reader demanded we apologize to the descendants of those who died in the famous 1975 sinking referenced above. This seems an unusual request since we aren’t making fun of the wreck or its victims, only mentioning it as something that happened and was written about in a popular song.
Still, we’re sorry that anyone was offended by this comic. That’s never our intent. There’s an adage that is famous among humorists: Comedy = tragedy + time, but nobody tells you how much time has to pass. We thought 51 years would be enough.
If I had a cargo suit, I wouldn’t need to carry a purse.
And that brings down this week’s comedy curtain to a standing ovation. (I’m standing as I type. You may remain seated.) If you’re into what we do here for free each week, please help us keep it going via the links below. Thank you for your attention to this blather.
The Naked Cartoonist…My every-other-week creative-writing subscription service.
Limited edition, signed & numbered prints of BIZARRO CARTOONS, and some ORIGINALS!
Bizarro TIP JAR …One-time or repeating. Your choice!
WAYNO’S TIP JAR …One-time or repeating. Your choice!
My (free) graphic novel in progress, PEYOTE COWBOY.
Watch my PITCH VIDEO and become a supporter of Peyote Cowboy here.
Super fun BIZARRO SWAG from ComicsKingdom, including our 2026 Bizarro wall calendar. (ALL the comics are still funny, no matter what month it is now!)