Just Right Reunion
I’m Dan Piraro, the creator of the Bizarro newspaper comic, and this is my weekly blog post. The large Sunday comic above is mine, as are all of the comments below.
Since January 2018, the Monday-Saturday Bizarro comics have been written and drawn by my comics partner, Wayno. They follow this commentary. For more fun, check out Wayno’s weekly blog post.
And here’s this week’s ANSWER KEY to the Secret Symbols in my Sunday comic.
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Hail, Jazz Pickles. I’m happy you’ve chosen my weekly typed thoughts to distract yourself from the firehose of chaos that has become the ubiquitous backdrop of modern life.
The Oyl and I are visiting family in the US this weekend, and having a lovely and sinful time.
At home, we eat a healthy diet and refrain from the myriad things that would raise our blood sugar levels to unacceptable levels, fill our arteries with sludge, or expand our waists and butts beyond the limits of our current wardrobes. But when we are vacationing, all of that asceticism goes the way of our belief in Santa Claus, and we pig out.
Yesterday, I had biscuits and gravy with fried eggs for breakfast, pizza, root beer, and real beer for lunch, and an Old Fashioned and a big scoop of ice cream with caramel and chocolate chips in a waffle cone for dinner. (Not after dinner—that was dinner.) We’ll likely do that shit again today.
I’m reminded of when I’d stay at Grandma’s house for a week when I was a kid. As soon as my parents dropped me off, there was unlimited soda pop, candy, and television until they returned a week later to begin an intervention and detox. They’d typically find me slumped against a wall in the corner behind the sofa in a sugar and TV coma, with a goatee of chocolate smeared across my face and half a Butterfinger melting in my hand. It wasn’t pretty.
That’s more or less what I’ll look like on the plane on the way home Tuesday morning. I hope I don’t end up on a no-fly list.
QUICKLY: If you’re still considering improving (or starting) your Spanish skills, I recommend my good buddy, Ricardo. I’ve been working with him for years and really enjoying our conversations via Google video or whatever you call it. He’s well-educated, a published novelist (in Spanish), and is fluent in English. Here’s what one of our Jazz Pickles says about her first few lessons with him:
“I can’t say enough good things about Ricardo! He pushes me when I need it, and he gives me room when I need that too. My Spanish is much better because of him, and he is incredibly good about clarifying local idioms: That is Argentinian Spanish, that is Spain Spanish, THIS is Mexican Spanish.” —P.P.
You can reach him here: Ricardo <kayuko1@gmail.com>
And you can reach Wayno via his weekly (free!) Substack posts here. But first, bring your chuckle needs with you as we visit his Bizarro cartoons for the week...
For the first time in my life, I’m thinking I’m lucky not to be a dog.
If this one befuddles you, think “fountain,” and “youth.” If you’re still being fuddled, look up Ponce de Leon. Our cartoons are occasionally as educational as they are occasionally funny.
My mind immediately goes to a cabinet full of such wolves that I wish were more emotionally healthy.
Carving out the fireplace and chimney were the hardest part about the first Pay Per View.
That’s good advice whether or not your ass is a piñata.
If you dont’ have “little free libraries” in your area, this one won’t make sense. Whoops.
This is where the comedy sidewalk ends this week, Jazz Pickles. That’s for enduring our childish whims for another week. If you love us half as much as we love you, please consider helping us keep this site free of ads and paywalls via the opportunities below. Just the thought of your generosity makes us giddy!
The Naked Cartoonist…My every-other-week creative-writing subscription service.
Limited edition, signed & numbered prints of BIZARRO CARTOONS, and some ORIGINALS!
Bizarro TIP JAR …One-time or repeating. Your choice!
WAYNO’S TIP JAR …One-time or repeating. Your choice!
My (free) graphic novel in progress, PEYOTE COWBOY.
Watch my PITCH VIDEO and become a supporter of Peyote Cowboy here.
Super fun BIZARRO SWAG from ComicsKingdom, including women’s V-neck styles! (IF ORDERING FROM CANADA or anywhere outside the US, CHECK SHIPPING COSTS CAREFULLY!)