Reverse Rorschach
I’m Dan Piraro, the creator of the Bizarro newspaper comic, and this is my weekly blog post. The large Sunday Bizarro comic above is mine, as are the comments below. The past week’s Monday-Saturday Bizarro comics that follow were written and drawn by my partner Wayno, whose weekly blog post I highly recommend.
And here’s this week’s ANSWER KEY to my Sunday comic’s Secret Symbols.
————————————————————————————————————
Welcome, Jazz Pickles. Thanks for visiting our comedy cafe.
Are there therapists who still use the Rorschach test? People under a certain age may not be familiar enough with it to understand the above cartoon, but that’s not my fault. I am often amazed by how little younger people know these days.
Yes, that’s an “Okay, Boomer” thing to say, but the internet has narrowed people’s experiences so drastically via algorithms that the concept of “general knowledge” is virtually obsolete.
There are a couple of terrific young men in my family who are right around the age of 20. They are polite, intelligent, pleasant to be around, and seem fairly well educated. However, neither of them has heard of U2 or Bono. Not even heard of them.
U2 is easily one of the most popular and successful bands in the past half century; they can still pack enormous venues the world over, and Bono has been notably involved in major world politics for decades, but these two young men are unaware of their existence.
I can understand that their music may not be to their taste. They grew up with hip-hop, that anti-melodic, rhyme-talking-over-computerized-rhythm noise that replaced music (yes, that was intentionally judgmental), but to have never heard of U2 seems unfathomable.
There was plenty of music I could not bear to listen to when I was their age, but I’d heard of it. I’d rather have slept in a dumpster behind a truck stop than listen to a Wayne Newton album or a Perry Como song, but I was aware of their existence.
How did this kind of gaping hole in public consciousness happen?
Algorithms are how. The same thing that keeps constantly feeding us the stuff we already know, like, and believe, rather than the full spectrum of what is available. It happens with products, news, movies, books (remember those? If you’re under a certain age, probably not), historical events, political propaganda, you name it. It’s what destroyed our democracy.
My theory is, if you’re a serial killer with a hundred shallow graves in your basement, you’ll probably spend eternity in Hell next to the person who invented algorithms and decided to use them in this way. Zuckerberg will be there, along with Bezos, and a flaming busload of tech bros whose names I don’t know because algorithms know I don’t follow tech news.
Algorithms don’t show me things they think I’m not interested in, but they’ll fill every page on the internet with ads for hats, because I shopped for one online two years ago.
Speaking of online shopping (lowering my head in shame), since the collapse of the newspaper industry, Wayno and I are selling stuff to keep afloat. If you’re enjoying our free content here each week, please consider buying yourself and 100 of your closest friends a Bizarro T-shirt or hat to help keep the comedy coming. We’ll kiss you in gratitude (virtually).
King Features has added some fun new products to the Bizarro line of stuff you can buy and wear! (All the previous shirts and chotchkies are still available, too.)
Perhaps the gods will forgive us for feeding your algorithm if we provide you with a chuckle or two from Wayno’s Bizarro cartoons from the week...
If you’ve left your home lately, you’ve likely noticed how many people are wearing slippers and pajamas in public. I’m expecting to see bathrobes and underwear soon at grocery stores and on commercial airlines. It’s said that at certain Walmarts, people are already shopping in nothing more than a towel wrapped around their waist. (I guess I’m feeling particularly judgy this morning. Sorry about that. I’m visiting the US this week, which tends to bring it out in me.)
I think I’ll never understand how people can type with their thumbs. I’ve got good hand skills, but stabbing at letters with my thumbs while I have two functioning index fingers nearby feels like trying to open a kitchen drawer with my forehead.
This gag lands with me because, though I hate to admit it, I have restless leg syndrome. It tortured me for years until I learned that smoking marijuana would knock it right out. So I went from an occasional party user to a daily user and walked around in a stoner’s fog for twelve years. I recently realized CBD without THC will knock it out, too, so I switched. I’m actually enjoying being sober, which is not something I thought I’d ever say.
Life (and legs) are full of surprises.
Depends on the juggler. If they’re still learning, you’ll be just as battered.
My dad was an economist for a petroleum company and spent his day crunching numbers in an office building. Take Your Child to Work Day was used as a punishment. It’s what turned me into a cartoonist. Thanks, Dad!
Better than a reverse proctologist, I suppose.
Those were today’s specials, Jazz Pickles. We hope you enjoyed your meal. If you’d like to leave us a tip, please consider the links below. We appreciate every eyeball you bring to our work.
The Naked Cartoonist…My every-other-week subscription creative writing and comics service.
Bizarro TIP JAR One-time or repeating. Your choice!
WAYNO’S TIP JAR One-time or repeating. Your choice!
My (free) graphic novel in progress, PEYOTE COWBOY
Watch my pitch video and become a supporter of Peyote Cowboy here.
Signed, numbered, limited-edition prints and original Bizarro panels
COMICS KINGDOM SHOP Now with Bizarro shirts, prints, & other crap!