From Waddle to Wobble
I’m Dan Piraro, the creator of the Bizarro newspaper comic. Each week, I post my Sunday Bizarro comic, then a short essay, then the past week’s Monday-Saturday Bizarro comics written and drawn by my partner, Wayno. He does a weekly blog post, too, and I highly recommend it.
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Welcome, Jazz Pickles, to another edition of whatever this is supposed to be.
This week’s Sunday comic (above) is a familiar theme for both Wayno and me. Although we each have done metric shitloads of tattoo jokes, however, only one of us actually has any tattoos. Can you guess which of us it is? I’ll reveal the answer at the end of this mini-essay.
Like the ubiquitous psychiatrist’s couch, Tattoo shops are fertile backdrops for the peculiarities of human behavior. And also penguin behavior, apparently. We like them for many reason, one of which is that they give us plenty of creative and fun ways to place the Bizarro Secret Symbols, which have reached a level of worldwide popularity that is perhaps best described as “nearly noticeable.” Today’s comic reports to have 14 of the elusive varmints, but I’ve miscounted before so don’t get too attached to that number. (And, before you ask, no, the penguin’s feet do not count as Crowns of Power, but, yes, if a symbol appears twice, you count it twice.)
Funny enough, though the sax-playing Jazz Pickle has appeared in plenty of my online graphics and a few of our shop products, it is not an official Secret Symbol. It’s a little too complex and difficult to hide to make a good daily icon. He makes a terrific koozie, though!
The tattoo artist himself has a nice sleeve tatt that includes the word “WOW,” which from his point of view, says, “MOM.” Doesn’t that bring a tear to your eye?
I like this gag because it is subtle. I always enjoy a cartoon that takes a beat or two before it sinks in, and I think this one accomplishes that. I also got a kick out of designing the tattoos for the wall displays.
Here’s a favorite tattoo joke of mine from the last century, that does not take place in a tattoo shop.
And below is a favorite of mine that I drew but Wayno wrote, way back before he took over the daily panels.
And, finally, here’s a snapshot of a Bizarro reader in Asia who’s had several of my full cartoons turned into tattoos. This doesn’t happen often, but I always feel a dubious kind of flattery when it does.
The answer to our puzzler above about whether it is Wayno or I who has one or more tattoos: I’ve never divulged this publicly, but I was born without a face, and so all of my facial features are actually only tattoos. It’s pretty hard to tell in photos, but in person, I think it is much more obvious, even though most people pretend not to notice.
Time now to notice what chuckles and scribbles Wayno has tattooed onto our mental clipboards with his Bizarro cartoons from the week…
Back when I was single and wanted to talk to an attractive lady, I was often thankful I did not have to puff up my throat real big or dance around in a circle shaking my tail and screeching.
Don’t ask what’s on that pizza. You don’t want to know.
I prefer my ashes to be shaken, not stirred, of course.
Does anyone ever use those things to advertise erectile dysfunction drugs?
I admit this is the only kind of three-way I have any experience with.
What you can’t see is that the man in the next cubicle is just a head with arms growing out of its neck. Watching him climb up the wall of a cubicle to peek over it is really disturbing.
And that brings us to the end of this week’s digital facsimile of comedy. Thanks for sticking around till the final pixel sang the finale. If you’ve enjoyed your visit and appreciate the lack of ads or paywalls, perhaps consider helping us keep it that way via one of the links below. Supporting the arts is a healthy choice for your mind, your body, and your community.
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