Human Beans

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One might think the theme of this cartoon is to be careful what you wish for—the folks in this conference room wanted more comfortable chairs but now they can’t reach the table. But is the answer to get their old chairs back or should they invest further by getting rid of the table, too? In the long run, if the company they’re working for isn’t actively making the world a better place (and what are the odds that it is?) they should probably just shut down the company and send everyone home to go about the business of living. Sounds simpler than it is, of course.

These days, in the U.S., only the top few people in any given corporation can afford to go about the business of living; the rest of the people in the company are working their asses off daily in order to assure that the few at the top are absurdly wealthy and thus able to buy the power and influence that it takes to keep the rest of the people working their asses off. What’s wrong with that picture? The Republican Party says nothing is wrong with it. It’s exactly as it should be. I couldn’t disagree more.

And as strange as the conference room above looks with beanbag chairs, the strangest thing in that room by far is the giant, ringbinder folder on the table in the foreground. Does any real company use ringbinder folders anymore? Those kinds of folders are leftover from a time when CEO’s on average only made twenty times what their workers made. Today, the figure is around 300 times more. On average. Not a joke. Look it up.

Since Rancho Bizarro isn’t a “real” company and the CEO (me) makes exactly what the workers make (I don’t have any employees) we still use ringbinder folders. Let’s pop ours open right now and see what Wayno was binding together last week…

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Both of my dogs thought this cartoon was stupid, citing the biological improbability of there existing a dog who could turn down a snack.

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This arrangement makes it a lot harder to call in sick, though.

Wayno makes an interesting point on his weekly blog post about how this gag is potentially backwards. See it here, then come back for more of this.

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If that kid is who I think he is, the driver won’t be paid and if he complains, he'll be deported to a country he’s never been to before. #Illegalimmigrantsarefortherich

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My own professional sports career ended up in the Crawlspace of Delusion fairly early on. I’ve since put it into the Pantry of Life Paths Best Not Taken.

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Sadly, tossing your cap into the air in your own kitchen can be pretty anticlimactic. What is NEVER anticlimactic is tossing your Bizarro Secret Symbol cap into the air and I’m here to help you with that by extending our hat sale in the Bizarro Shop!

We’ve extended our flash sale! Buy one of our new embroidered Bizarro Secret Symbol hats and get $5 off ANY T-shirt in the shop when you use coupon code HATS at checkout! Sale ends midnight Monday June 10th. As much as I hate this photo my daughter chose for this sale, here it is again.

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I wonder if some ghost’s mirth peppering is what’s been causing me to sneeze in the middle of the night?

That wraps up this week’s haunting, Jazz Pickles. Thanks for hiding under the covers with us. If you like what we do and that we do it WITHOUT ugly ads, please consider dropping a morsel into one of the links below. It really helps keep the bunny fed at Rancho Bizarro.

Until next week, be happy, be smart, be nice, and resist ignorance and fascism.

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Dan Piraro6 Comments