UFOji

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Like many creative types, I’m the sort of person who likes to eschew anything that “the masses” are into, based on the premise that if most people like something, it’s probably fairly low-brow. (Yeah, I know. That’s pretty uppity.) Accordingly, I avoided using emojis at all for a very long time, thinking that if a missive is well constructed, you don’t need to further explain yourself with cartoons of facial expressions.

But then, a few years back, something I wrote in an email to an art director for whom I was doing some freelance illustration work was misunderstood, offended her, and I lost the job. I honestly don’t recall what I said (I would tell you if I could) but it was an honest mistake and I simply didn’t explain myself well enough for her to know that I was kidding. I was mortified and apologized but it was too late.

I related the story to a friend of mine who was similarly snobbish about pop culture stuff, and he said, to my surprise, “An emoji would’ve avoided that.” Of course, he was right. In face-to-face conversations, we use facial expressions to clarify intent nearly constantly, but in written correspondence, we are without that very useful tool.

Since then, I’ve been using emojis but only ones that I can construct myself on a keyboard, which to me, adds a touch of creative fun to it. I’m still able to maintain my uppityness by avoiding the professionally designed and manufactured emojis available to me, but I’m also avoiding upsetting people with my (sometimes unwelcome) wisecracking.

I use this emoji most often… :^}

Here’s one that Wayno invented that is meant to be a personal emoji for Hitler. //:^=[ I actually did this cartoon about it some years ago. (I now think it looks better with an UNhappy face.)

Here’s one you could do for Trump. \\:^[ Just as in real life, the only substantial difference is the lack of a mustache.

Let’s find out if Wayno had any mustaches, emojis, or authoritarian assholes in his comics this week…

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I knew nothing of this truck before Wayno’s cartoon. I’ve been buying my gags from a Nigerian prince who contacted me via email. The truck’s prices are a LOT cheaper.

Also, according to Wayno, each person in line at the Mister Laffee truck is a living cartoonist friend of his. Check out his weekly cartoon blog to find out who they are.

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Hercules wants to be a good parent and teach his kid something about responsibility but doesn’t want to overdo it, so he assigned his scion only three son-of-herculean tasks: cleaning the aforementioned litter box, removing the Golden Pie of Artemis, and putting drops in (on?) the Eye of the Cyclops.

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If he’s honest, what he’d really like is to move to a planet that is not so dangerous to its inhabitants that he has to spend ALL of his free time rescuing people. Good luck with that, dude.

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It was later discovered that this was an ambitious but unscrupulous adolescent human in a dog costume, bilking the seniors for cash.

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In my fantasy football league, the estimated 4.5% of the 1700 players in the NFL who are gay or bisexual would proudly come out of the closet and be a positive role model for youths. But if they can’t even kneel during the National Anthem (for any reason other than worshipping an officially-approved invisible person in the sky) I don’t see that happening soon. But I was wrong about gay marriage being legal in my lifetime, so maybe there’s hope!

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To be honest, I can never tell if the cable guy is real or virtual, so this cartoon isn’t meant for me.

That concludes this week’s humor tour, Jazz Pickles. As you exit the bus, please consider helping to keep the campfires burning here at Rancho Bizarro by patronizing one of the links below. By way of thanks, we will chant your name in a secret midnight ritual in the desert. We’re not sure it will bring you good fortune, but it certainly couldn’t hurt!

Until next week, be happy, be smart, be nice, and resist ignorance and fascism.

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Dan Piraro12 Comments