Bizarro | Naked Cartoonist

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Rocking Realities

I’m Dan Piraro, the creator of the Bizarro newspaper comic. Each week, I post my Sunday Bizarro comic, a short essay, and then the past week’s Monday-Saturday Bizarro comics written and drawn by my partner Wayno, whose weekly blog post I highly recommend.

And here’s this week’s ANSWER KEY to my Sunday comic’s Secret Symbols.

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Wayno and I videotaped a chat we had on Google Meet on the occasion of the 15th anniversary of our first cartoon collaboration, and posted it online last week for readers who enjoy eavesdropping. 

As a result, lots of folks asked us about the specific division of labor between us since Wayno came on board in 2018 as Bizarro’s full-time cartoonist for Monday-Saturday panels. In response, Wayno created a simple chronology of our professional association over the years. Read that in his free weekly newsletter.

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Last week’s Sunday cartoon and blog post inspired me to write a longer piece about selfies in my weekly newsletter, The Naked Cartoonist. In the hope of inspiring a few of you to subscribe, here are the first couple of paragraphs of the piece I published Friday, “Myself and I.”

“After millions of years of evolution, of scratching survival out of solid ice and scorching desert, of building cities, societies, and governments, of seeking both justice and conquest, humility and power, of experiencing love and war and pestilence, of being brought to tears by music, books, art, and poetry, and of creating technology that can transplant a heart and safely transport us to the moon and back, we finally have a way to document every essential, monumental moment of the human species for posterity: the selfie. It is our crowning achievement.

The tremendous sense of relief the selfie brings is hard to overestimate. If we had become extinct before everyone could cheaply and easily photograph themselves dozens of times each day, future civilizations—if there are any—would never know how cute we looked in our new outfits, or how much fun we had at the pizza party after softball.”

In the Extras I post after each article, I explain why living in Mexico has caused this hat to no longer fit me. 

For five bucks, you’ll have a month to read all of the amusing articles I’ve posted so far before deciding if you want to continue. What a deal! Why not take a selfie while subscribing?

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Time for Wayno’s Bizarro cartoons from the week!

It’s nothing a little game of rock/paper/scissors can’t solve.

Do your next of kin get money back on the All-Day Pass if you don’t survive the day?

“Schrödinger’s bagpipes” is a thought experiment in which a cat in a set of bagpipes is both alive and dead, depending on the tone that it creates when you play it.

It seems a lot of readers missed the point of this one. Hancock’s signature on the Declaration of Independence was exponentially larger than anyone else’s.

After spending the last few years trying to learn Spanish, a comparatively simple language, this cartoon gives me a migraine.

This cartoon is not lascivious, it’s only in your head.

That wraps up this week’s punchline parade. Thanks for sticking around to help clean up after the chimp. If you’re enjoying our work and that we offer it for free and without ads, please consider helping us keep it that way via the links below. We’ll jump and clap in gratitude like a couple of monkeys. (Yes, we are aware that chimps are apes, not monkeys.)

The Naked Cartoonist…My weekly subscription newsletter of humorous creative writing, photos, art, videos & more.

… Bizarro TIP JAR One-time or repeating. Your choice!

Signed, numbered, limited-edition prints and original Bizarro panels  

COMICS KINGDOM SHOP (now with Bizarro products!)

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My wife, Olive Oyl’s, art, writing, and photography