Bizarro | Naked Cartoonist

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I’m Dan Piraro, the creator of the Bizarro newspaper comic. Each week, I post my Sunday Bizarro comic, a short essay, and then the past week’s Monday-Saturday Bizarro comics written and drawn by my partner Wayno, whose weekly blog post I highly recommend.

And here’s this week’s ANSWER KEY to my Sunday comic’s Secret Symbols.

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Welcome to this moment of your reality, Jazz Pickles and Nudists.

I say “your reality because everyone’s is a little different. Some people would argue that reality is a fact that can be scientifically certified—and that’s true to a degree. But many philosophers and other deep-thinker types throughout history have said that reality is not out there, it is an illusion created by our minds. And since we have different minds, our realities vary. (A not insignificant number of scientists in the field of quantum physics have begun to agree with this ancient idea. What?!)

I don’t pretend to know the truth of this, but thinking about it fascinates me!

Regarding the guy in the cartoon above, who’s to say he’s hallucinating? Maybe he sees a reality that most of us are blind to. 

That said, the image outside his door and the one I used for the title image at top are small sections of one of the pages of the Bizarro Land coloring book I created a few years back. Here’s the whole image. There are 30 crazy drawings of this sort in that book and each one has all eleven of the Secret Symbols then existing (the Pipe of Ambiguity & O2, had yet to be adopted.)

Although I did not use drugs to dream up these images, they are as close to a psychedelic trip as you may get without taking a hallucinogen. IMHO, they are some of the coolest illustrations I’ve ever done and most people have never seen them! Boo hoo.

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If you’re not yet a subscriber to my humor writing blog, The Naked Cartoonist, you’ve not yet read this week’s article “The Bible Belt and Other Fashion Accessories of North America.” In it, I describe such locations as the Bible Belt (of course), the Bible Pants, the Corn Suspenders, the California Woo-Woo Wig, the Manhattan Mococle, and many more. Following is a short excerpt from the article and the never-going-to-appear-in-Bizarro comic that goes with it.

“The zippered fly of the Bible Pants is a place that houses those who still lament having lost the Civil War. Inside, you’ll find Confederate flag underwear and some attitudes most modern Americans find dickish, so it is mostly kept zipped up. But now and then, the zipper pops open and some total dick briefly pops out until it is stuffed back in again.”

(Click image for larger view.)

Yes, that cartoon is vulgar, but we’re all adults here. (If you’re under 18 and did not yet know that around half of the human population have penises, my apologies. If you’re a firearms enthusiast and are offended by my cartoon, do some soul searching.)

For a measly FIVE BUCKS you can read all the articles I’ve posted (more than a dozen at this writing) and the videos, photos, and extra stuff I’ve added in the EXTRAS after each post. It’s way more than five bucks worth of fun, for sure.

In this week’s EXTRAS, I tell this story in humorous detail:

For the rest of the story, subscribe now and join readers who have recently said these things…

“OMG! I'm SO glad I'm a subscriber! This stuff is Mark Twain- and George Carlin- worthy! Thanks, Dan!” —Gerry J.

“Gawd! This was great, Dan! Just the elixir needed for a bad head on a Saturday morn!”  —Gunnar J.

“Ahhh ... a new post from the Naked Cartoonist! Great start to my Saturday! Thoroughly enjoyed both features.” —I. D.

“Why don’t you move back home? What’s so great about Mexico?” —Mom

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Let us now adjourn to the cartoon playground where Wayno is waiting on the teeter-totter with his week of Bizarro comics…

A scene from an average bar in Queens.

A few readers mentioned that it would have been more appropriate if the ad had been for pea soup. That’s true, but we’ve got this sponsorship deal with Bunny’s Pie Repair, so…

It was only a matter of time…

Upon awakening, the patient may not care for where he’s hidden the eggs.

It’s becoming Bad Bunny Week at Bizarro.

“Hey, you don’t have to bite my head off. Or maybe you do.”

That completes this week’s comedy calamity. I hope no one was triggered by the video of me beating up an idiot. If you enjoy our shenanigans and appreciate our lack of ads and clickbait, please consider helping us keep it this way via the links below. We’ll think of you as we bite the heads off of chocolate bunnies this weekend.

The Naked Cartoonist…My weekly subscription newsletter of humorous creative writing, photos, art, videos & more.

… Bizarro TIP JAR One-time or repeating. Your choice!

Signed, numbered, limited-edition prints and original Bizarro panels  

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WAYNO’S TIP JAR One-time or repeating. Your choice!

My wife, Olive Oyl’s, art, writing, and photography