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Barking Buccaneers

I’m Dan Piraro, the creator of the Bizarro newspaper comic. Each week, I post my Sunday Bizarro comic, then a short essay, then the past week’s Monday-Saturday Bizarro comics written and drawn by my partner, Wayno whose weekly blog post I recommend highly.

Here’s the ANSWER KEY to this week’s Secret Symbols in the Sunday comic, above.—————————————————————————

I used to be a vocal critic of reincarnation. It always seemed more like wishful thinking than something plausible or logical. But I’ve recently had a change of perspective on it. 

First, I think the concept that we are the ultimate intelligence in the universe, dropped here by chemical accident long after a big explosion billions of years ago, is as unlikely, arrogant, and short-sighted as the medieval concept that the entire universe was created for us by a patriarchal, human-like god.   

Life as varied and complex as what has infested this planet being a complete accident just doesn’t pass the smell test. But I don’t think it was some Hollywood movie character in the sky that put it here, either. There’s something else going on. Something much bigger and more complex. I don’t know what, exactly, but I can sense it in every twist of my DNA’s double helix.

If some larger thing is happening, it does not make sense that—out of the billions of years we know this place has been here—we’d each pass through here in 70-100 years, one and done, then go away forever. To where? Nowhere? Doesn’t make sense. 

I think it makes a lot more sense that we’re part of some system so vast, powerful, and eternal that it is incomprehensible to our monkey-brains. Preposterous myths are as close as we can get to wrapping our minds around it.

And if life is some kind of complex system too big to understand, it seems more logical that our consciousness is a returning feature, living out various types of lives as we develop; a kind of nursery school for consciousness. I think it’s plausible that under such a system, we’d go through all kinds of iterations before we become human, then many versions of humans as we develop and improve. 

This would not only explain why some children have skills far beyond their years, but also why some people are wise from an early age, and others are foolish idiots well into their golden years.  I think overt materialism, violence, and power-seeking are likely qualities of very young, less experienced consciousness, while compassion, generosity, and tranquility are hallmarks of older consciousness.

And if we each have worked our way through the animal kingdom to become humans, I’m tempted to say that dogs are among the final stops for a consciousness that is ready to try being human. But wait. On second thought, perhaps it’s the other way around; being a super compassionate, loving human is the last stop on the way to becoming a dog. 

A good dog is unconditionally loving and loyal. It always wants what is best for you and is ready to give and receive love at any moment of any day. It is eternally forgiving of your transgressions and shortcomings. As the old adage goes, lock your wife and your dog in the trunk of your car and see which one is happy to see you when you let them out. That sounds way more like a saint than a human.

You cat lovers may be screeching right now about the glory of cats. Sure, fine, I get that. I like cats, too, but you can’t argue that a saint would never attack your feet with razor-sharp claws as you’re trying to go to sleep at night. Sorry, they just wouldn’t.

So the moral of today’s cartoon (above) is that your odds for a favorable outcome are much better if you are assailed by dog pirates than human ones. As for cats, I don’t think they work together well enough to organize a pirate ship, so it’s probably a moot point.

Now let’s find out what Wayno’s consciousness decided to do with the Bizarro cartoons from the week…

If AI starts materializing cookies and candy money any time I want it, I’ll sign on.

I can only imagine how I’d feel if people always wanted to spell my name “Pirarto.”

And it even comes when you call it.

I just go with a thumbs-up emoji, then flush my phone down a toilet.

If I had a tattoo parlor, I would have “DECORATIVE INJURIES” on the sign out front.

And to stop talking about their sex life. Yech!

We’ll leave you today with that disgusting comment, Jazz Pickles. Thanks for stopping in for our little cartoon chin-wag. If you like what we do and would like to help us keep this site free and without ads, please consider tossing us some help via one of the links below.

Until next week, be a good dog, not a bad person.

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