Bizarro | Naked Cartoonist

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At first glance, you might think this cartoon is simple but there are a few layers. To start, there are two main jokes: the positions of the players and the score. 

The players are maintaining distance between them, presumably by rule, which means that anyone who gets the ball scores easily. Accordingly, the score is outrageously high and it is still early in the second quarter. Clearly, American football isn’t a game that can be played during a pandemic without risk of contagion. Which brings us to the current college football controversy. Will they play this year or not?

I have to admit I have not read a single article about the college football controversy. (And I never watch video news.) But from the headlines I’ve seen in my periphery, I’m guessing some universities are hot to get their football seasons underway since they make millions of dollars from it, but various factions (players? parents? epidemiologists?) think it is not safe in terms of efforts at controlling the pandemic. Then, of course, you probably have people like Prince Donny trying to turn it into a political wedge issue by accusing scientists and liberals of trying to kill football because they hate America. 

So it’s complicated. On one side are people who think that saving the lives of a substantial number of Americans is more important than money, and on the other side, people who think that nothing is more important than money and people need to hurry up and die and get out of the way of fun and profit. And I’m guessing the crybabies rooting for fun and profit are the same bullies who call people who are sensitive to the wellbeing of others, “snowflakes.” 

As I said, I’ve not read anything about the topic so all of that is just a guess.

Other amusing aspects of the above cartoon to be aware of are the team logos. Both the crown and the upside-down bird are regular Bizarro Secret Symbols (don’t tell anyone, they’re secret) and I’ve used them as team logos before, but what’s interesting is that “corona” in Spanish means crown, so I get that added connection to a cartoon about the pandemic. And one last note for those readers with a more discerning eye for proportion, the silhouettes of the players above are approximately twice the size they should be in relation to the field. I cheated the proportion to make them legible.

Now let’s find out what hidden layers and cheats Wayno’s Bizarro cartoons this week have…

For real, my great grandfather supposedly wore one of those kinds of helmets as a diver for the Italian Navy in the 19th century. That’s what my family says, anyway.

What Wayno’s family is saying is “CONGRATULATIONS!” because he is one of three nominees for the National Cartoonists Society’s Best Panel Award this year! Read all about it on his blog this week and leave him a felicidades and good luck comment! (But don’t forget to come back and finish here!)

This, of course, is from back before modern techniques when they used to have to beat rats and mice to death with musical instruments. It was a grisly and cacophonous time.

A commenter on our IG feed said, “Make Parma Grate Again.” I can’t top that.

What’s with this guy’s obsession with latte flavors?

I think the most disappointing thing about being a ghost would be the limited fashion choices.

Do not try this without flame-retardant beard wax. Trust me.

That’s the end of our comedy heatwave, Jazz Pickles. Thanks for sweating it out with us to the end. If you like what we do and that we do it for free, without ads or paywalls, please consider sending us a token of appreciation via one of the portals below. We’ll paint the sunset a brighter color of orange at Rancho Bizarro in your name.

Until next week, be grateful, be kind, and be too smart to fall for the bullshit.

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