Bizarro | Naked Cartoonist

View Original

Feeding the Bear

Pro Tip: For added enjoyment, imagine a British accent when reading the woman’s line. Also, don’t miss the product labels in the cabinet. Here’s a closeup.

I hope you Jazz Pickles are having a dandy holiday season. It’s too chaotic to fly this time of year, so we’re staying here in Mexico and spending it with local friends. Nothing will ruin my week faster than having to spend more than two seconds with the TSA.

For New Year’s, we’re going to Mexico City with another couple. We go there every few months to sample the numerous museums, parks, restaurants, galleries, cafes, and historical this-and-thats. We love that city and are looking forward to ringing in the new year there.

“I have a grand, new project planned for 2020 that I’m so excited about I can barely refrain from crying and pooping my pants.”

I’m not one to have new year’s resolutions but I have a grand, new project planned for 2020 that I’m so excited about I can barely refrain from crying and pooping my pants. I’ve been working on a graphic novel for the past few months called Peyote Cowboy. It’s a long, very strange and complex story incorporating magical realism in the Old West. It’s occasionally funny and snarky but is not meant to be a comedy per se. It has elements of satire on the subjects of religion, politics, psychology, anthropology, mysticism, hallucinogens, the nature of time, parenting, and the environment, among other things.

After I’m satisfied with the story, I’ll be posting it with the illustrations online in installments of a few pages per week. I’m really looking forward to sharing this story and the weird process that has brought it about. I can honestly say that writing it has been the most exhilarating and mysterious creative experience of my life, bar none. I’ll be talking more about it in future blog posts, so stay tuned!

Now let’s see what magical comedy my partner Wayno was concocting in his cartoon alchemy lab last week…

If she can look pretty on camera and convincingly read words, she can teach my kids anything she wants!

And in response to some questions we received online, this isn’t supposed to be any one specific actor. It’s a joke about people who get children’s book contracts not because they can write but because they are famous. (Wayno has a great line about this one on his blog this week.)

I would dearly love to design a miniature golf course. Seriously, someone make me an offer.

Over on Wayno’s weekly cartoon blog, he shows a preliminary version of this golf cartoon that he never even showed to me because he thought it was no good. On the contrary, I think it’s pretty cool and works as well as this one. Pop over, see which side of the debate you fall on, and then come right back and finish!

Well, if he’s not picking YOUR nits, where’s he getting his lice eggs? (He might be monkeying around.)

Also good for homes with short pole dancers.

I suppose that qualifies for the Witless Protection Program.

Between those effing shelf elves, Siri and Alexa, it’s getting almost impossible to find a safe place to speak of your crimes, you know?

This concludes our weekly shovelful of comedy soil. Thanks for getting dirty with us, Jazz Pickles. If you like what we do and that we do it without ads or a paywall, please consider making a holiday donation to the Tip Jar or visiting some of the other links below. Every little bit helps to keep the cupboard full of frijoles rancheros at Rancho Bizarro.

Until next time, be happy, be smart, be nice, and resist ignorance and Trumpism.

BIZARRO SHOP  

… Bizarro TIP JAR

DIEGO PIRARO FINE ART…where you can buy my paintings or prints of them from me personally!

Daily Bizarro IN YOUR EMAIL + archive access

Signed, numbered, limited edition prints and original Bizarro panels  

Bizarro Cartoons on Instagram  

Piraro Fine Art on Instagram