Bizarro Blog
Search the blog:
Limiting Choices
Today's big, wide, Sunday cartoon is about how annoying Internet ads are. Yes, I know I have annoying ads on this site, too, but it isn't by choice. If I want to operate under the umbrella of King Features' cartoons, I have to play by their (relatively few) rules.
Bunny Slope
I love stupid criminals. If I loved stupid politicians half as much, I wouldn’t be able to stop laughing right now. Instead, I left the U.S. and moved to Mexico so that I would not be trapped on the wrong side of "The Wall" when the Apricot Satan declares martial law after an election his Russian friends weren't able to finagle for him.
Comedy for Charity
Hey, Jazz Pickles! If you'd like to see me do stand-up comedy and sing songs, and you like to help people with the money you paid to see it, and you're within driving distance of Oklahoma, this is your lucky day!
Last Survey
The inspiration for today's cartoon came from my longtime friend and cartooning colleague, Jim Horwitz. You can see his daily cartoon, Watson on his FB page here. And here is a pic of Jim with Wayno and me. We're all dressed up because we were attending a funeral. We're laughing because it was the funeral of an enemy.
Clown Corpse
To be clear, I was afraid of clowns before it was cool. Way back in my early childhood in the mid-1900s, my instincts told me that anyone wearing a disguise and trying too hard to get my attention was not safe. This almost autonomic response saved me from who-knows-how-many murderers and pedophiles. Thanks, evolution!
Tag You're It
In the art world, there's an ongoing debate about whether "tagging" is art or vandalism. To be clear, tagging is not graffiti or mural painting, it is simply signing your name with paint. For me, if hypothetically applied to any other art form, the question becomes more clear.
Wake Up Call
This post is late this week because Olive Oyl and I were in Guanajuato City over the weekend hanging out with the K2s (Krapuzar and Krelspeth) and their husbands (Ringworm and Fleshprod). We love that town and always have a damn dandy time. Can't wait to go again. While visiting, I had a chance to get in a little busking to help pay for our meals.
Gated Community
A longtime Bizarro Jazz Pickle and occasional contributor who calls himself Brian Levy sent me an idea about a piggy bank talking to a banker about savings and it triggered this idea. Thanks, pal!
Time Release
My beloved, Olive Oyl, and I are currently reading an astoundingly fascinating book called Sapiens: A Brief History of Humankind by Yuval Noah Harari. One early concept in the book is that when human societies are small—under 150 people—they operate in unison because everyone knows everyone and has a common goal.
First Punch(line)
I like the idea of the first joke teller. He or she would have been very different from the mythological white folks depicted above––probably a nomad or cave dweller––but if I'd drawn it that way, I'd have been robbed of the delicious pun in the caption.
Fruit Bomb
Here in this discreet corner of the universe, a couple of things have happened this week worth noting. One is that we're trying out the new website again. We've still got some bugs to work out here and there but think we'll have it solved pretty soon. Let me know if you're experiencing weirdness, in case it's a variety of weirdness we're not yet aware of. I'll get to the other new thing in a moment.
Periodic Truth
I've done a quite a few magazine cover cartoons over the years and I believe the careful observer will notice that this is yet another one. Here's one from last year that might be my favorite. Media has always pandered to what idiots like you and I want, but in recent years it has become far more blatant and even damaging.
iMugger
I'm generally skeptical of technology and firmly believe that too much immersion is bad for the human mind and spirit (if such a thing exists separately) but I do enjoy a few of the conveniences it provides. For instance, in colonial times, people often had to walk several miles with a couple of buckets of fresh milk to pay their cable TV bill in person.
Bizarro Pin Contest
Hey, Jazz Pickles! The new set of Bizarro Secret Symbol enamel pins are in and they're flying off the shelf! (Well, we actually keep them in a wooden box, buried in the backyard but that doesn't have the same ring to it.)
String Theory
Back in the mid-80s, a friend of mine was at my house one afternoon when he pulled from his jacket pocket a lump of black plastic roughly the size and weight of a brick and began speaking to it as though it were a person.
Close Shave
A few commenters admonished me about the above cartoon because "beheadings are no laughing matter." Then I got some comments about sensitive skin being no laughing matter, and one about big, hairy, shirtless men in leotards being no laughing matter. I totally agree with that last one.
Bacon in the Sun
At first, this seems like a very dangerous situation for Señor Cerdo, because there are a lot of humans who cannot resist the smell of cooking pig. But fear not; Señor Cerdo is nobody's fool––he and his esposa patronize exclusively swine-only beaches and they always make it back home with their bacon bits intact.
Safety Scythe
If you have kids, chances are that from time to time, your Sunday looks a bit like the scene above. That's why it's important to be certain the kids are using blunted weapons and farm implements in their playtime. You can never be too safe; as you can see, the Grim Reaper's kids are using safety scythes even though they have no eyes to lose.
Grave Rolling
One fun thing about this cartoon is that no matter what your political views, you can (and probably do) imagine the Founding Fathers are spinning in their graves over what America has become. And you’re probably right.